The Value of Struggle
Educators Urge Parents to Allow Children Space to Struggle and Build Independence
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Key Points
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Dr. Dana Suskind of the University of Chicago said, “The most important thing we can give children is not the answer, but the experience of figuring it out.”
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The article identifies specific ways technology can prompt parents to intervene prematurely: tracking children’s locations, viewing grades in real time and contacting teachers immediately—sometimes before a child has even recognized there is a problem.
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According to Suskind, stepping in too quickly deprives children of practicing several distinct skills: pausing before acting, recalling what worked previously and trying new solutions.
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The report notes that the relevant challenges can be ordinary situations such as forgetting lunch, being unable to solve a math problem or not knowing how to get somewhere—problems that may become opportunities for children to practice independence.
Educators and developmental experts are urging parents to let children struggle with everyday problems instead of rushing in to solve them. University of Chicago researcher Dr. Dana Suskind says the key to building independence is letting kids experience the challenge of figuring things out themselves, not just handing them the answer.
Technology makes premature intervention easier than ever. Real-time grade tracking, location monitoring, and instant teacher contact can prompt parents to jump in before a child even recognizes a problem exists. Kids who rarely face manageable struggles may become more anxious when forced to handle problems alone later.
Why Struggle Builds Essential Skills
Suskind explains that when parents intervene too quickly, children miss out on practicing critical abilities. These include pausing before acting, remembering what worked in the past, and trying new solutions. Suskind notes: "The most important thing we can give children is not the answer, but the experience of figuring it out." These skills compound over time and form the foundation of adult problem-solving.
Ordinary situations—forgetting lunch, struggling with a math problem, or not knowing how to get somewhere—become opportunities for independence practice. When parents consistently remove these obstacles, children develop learned helplessness instead of resilience.
How Technology Speeds Up Parental Rescue Mode
Smartphones and school apps have created unprecedented parental visibility. Parents can now track their child's exact location, check grades instantly, and contact teachers within seconds. Times Leader notes these tools can prompt intervention before a child has even noticed a problem exists.
Artificial intelligence and instant information access compound the issue. When answers appear at the click of a button, parents face continuous temptation to provide them. The result: children get fewer opportunities to struggle, think, and solve problems independently.
Finding Balance: When to Help and When to Wait
Experts don't recommend abandoning children to struggle alone. Instead, they suggest pausing before stepping in. Ask yourself: Is this a safety issue? Does my child have a specific need that requires help? If the answer is no, hold back and let them try.
Age-appropriate guidance remains important. The goal is supporting children through challenges, not removing challenges entirely. McCall reports that parents who master this balance raise kids who develop confidence, creativity, and genuine problem-solving ability rather than dependency.
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