Senior Sexuality Normalization
Professionals Advocate for Normalizing Senior Sexuality in Nursing Homes, Calling for Privacy and Protocols
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Sexuality is a daily reality inside Spanish nursing homes — yet fewer than 10% of these centers have a written protocol to manage it, according to research by El País. Now, geriatric professionals across Spain are demanding an end to what they call a deep cultural taboo: the idea that desire disappears with age. "El deseo aún existe a los 90," experts insist — desire still exists at 90.
The push comes as major congresses, investigative reports, and policy debates converge in mid-2024. Professionals say the problem is not medical — it is cultural. Nursing homes were built like hospitals, and residents are treated like patients rather than citizens with rights.
Desire Does Not Retire: What the Science Shows
Around 60% of Spaniards aged 65 to 74 remain sexually active, according to data from the Centro de Investigaciones Sociológicas. Yet when residents in nursing homes express that desire, staff often treat it as a symptom of dementia rather than a human need. Feliciano Villar, a psychology professor at the University of Barcelona, put it plainly: "We have constructed an image of the elderly as 'asexual' beings."
Psychologist Nuria Carcavilla, a specialist in dementia, argues the definition of sexuality must be broadened. "Sexuality isn't just penetration," she told RTVE. "It's touch, companionship, and skin-to-skin contact. In many centers, even holding hands is pathologized." Suppressing this, gerontologists warn, leads directly to depression and cognitive decline.
Architecture of Shame: No Locks, No Privacy, No Protocol
The physical design of most Spanish nursing homes works against intimacy. Shared rooms, no door locks, and constant staff surveillance make private moments nearly impossible. Joseba Zalakain, director of the SiiS Centro de Documentación y Estudios, told Cadena SER: "The architecture of current residences is the primary enemy of intimacy."
A 2022 government decree aims to change this. It requires that by 2030, at least 65% of nursing home rooms must be individual, giving residents their own private space. But older buildings will need costly renovations. Experts say "intimacy rooms" — dedicated private spaces for couples — are the most urgent short-term fix, according to Levante-EMV.
Families, Consent, and the Legal Grey Zone
Staff are often caught between residents' rights and family pressure. Families sometimes demand that directors separate couples, viewing late-life romances as a sign of mental decline or a threat to inheritance. Employer federations AESTE and CEAPS, which represent private nursing homes, support normalization but call the issue of consent in residents with Alzheimer's a legal "minefield," according to Diario de Ibiza.
Spain's legal framework for consent among people with cognitive impairment remains unclear. Professionals often default to prohibition to avoid lawsuits. Regional governments in Catalonia and Madrid are expected to draft formal consent guidelines by late 2024, according to La Nueva España.
A Generational Wave Is Coming — And It Won't Stay Quiet
Spain's nursing home population is 70% women, many of whom seek emotional intimacy more than physical sex, according to IMSERSO data cited by La Opinión de Zamora. A generational divide is also emerging: younger adults (Gen X and Millennials) increasingly support their parents' right to privacy, while current residents often hide their relationships out of shame.
The real pressure point arrives around 2030, when the Baby Boomer generation — the generation of the sexual revolution — begins entering nursing homes in large numbers. Experts say their demands for autonomy will not be requests. They will be requirements. For now, the SEGG's May 2024 national congress in Málaga marked the first time the Spanish geriatric establishment formally called for "desexualization of old age" to end, according to El Periódico Mediterráneo.
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